My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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