you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
