just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
