Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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