I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
