i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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