either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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