So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
