So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.