Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.