Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.