We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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