sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
