Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
