My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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