Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
