Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
