Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
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I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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