Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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