That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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