Someone shit on the floor
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize