Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize