are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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