Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
