who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
