Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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