ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
True college students do jello shots in the library
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