Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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