My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
