What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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