That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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