The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
