Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
