everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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