The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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