Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
