I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
