dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
