party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
