Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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