dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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