I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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