Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
