this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You have to summon your inner elephant
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize