If i come over, it means nothing
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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