OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
