If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
