I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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