I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
