census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
