You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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