hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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