this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
