I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
