remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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