is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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