It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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