I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
