Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
