Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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